Tagged?

ERV appears to have tagged me. Thanks, ERV. I've never played one of these games before, but here goes...

Here are the rules:

• We have to post these rules before we give you the facts.
• Players start with eight random facts/habits about themselves.
• People who are tagged need to write their own blog about their eight things and post these rules.
• At the end of your blog, you need to choose eight people to get tagged and list their names.
• Don’t forget to leave them a comment telling them they’re tagged, and to read your blog.

I'm going to bast**rdize this little meme. Partly because I'm a little bit private, and partly because I'd like to write about the thing that is currently stressing me the most. I'm currently applying for my green card (I'm an alien). I thought I would reveal the 8 most ridiculous questions on the green card application (not necessarily in any particular order). But that's still following the rules, right? These questions are about me, and I will answer all of them. From the form I-485:

1. Do you intend to engage in the United States in espionage?

Hmmm... you supposed a spy entering the U.S. answers this one honestly? But for me? No. I promise I won't engage in espionage.

2. Do you intend to engage in the United States in any activity a purpose of which is opposition to, or the control or overthrow of, the government of the United States, by force, violence or other unlawful means?

No.

3. Have you ever engaged in genocide, or otherwise ordered, incited, assisted or otherwise participated in the killing of any person because of race, religion, nationality, ethnic origin or political opinion?

No. I have not.

4. Do you plan to practice polygamy in the United States?

Does hoping count? I think my wife would kill me if I took a second wife, but a guy's gotta dream, doesn't he?

5. Have you received public assistance in the United States from any source, including the United States government or any state,county, city or municipality (other than emergency medical treatment), or are you likely to receive public assistance in the future?

I had a research fellowship from the American government once. Does that count?

6. Have you ever been a member of, or in any way affiliated with, the Communist Party or any other totalitarian party?

No. I have not.

7. Have you ever engaged in any unlawful commercialized vice, including, but not limited to, illegal gambling?

Until single-malt scotch becomes illegal, I will have to say no.

And from the medical exam:

8. (Do you have) tuberculosis? syphilis? insanity? mental defect? mental retardation? previous occurrence of one or more attacks of insanity? psychopathic personality? gonorrhea? sexual deviation?

They seem to be worried that I might be insane. Hmmm. Doc says I passed that one.

I'm also going to dead-end this meme, because most of the blogs I read regularly have already been tagged, and because I'm no fun.